Carnac the Magnificent spouted out curses. A character played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show, Carnac revealed answers to unknown questions handed to him in hermitcally sealed envelopes. As part of the comedy, Carnac regularly cursed the audience when they booed, with lines like may the bird of paradise fly up your nose.

Although you may not expect it, the Bible is filled with curses, with no comedy attached. David cursed the wicked afflicting him with these desires; break the teeth in their mouths, O God…when they draw the bow, let their arrows fall short…may they be like a slug that melts away as it moves along.

Give credit to David—his line about a slug melting away is one good curse on your enemies.

Along with cursing, forgiveness emerges as a major theme of the Bible. How do we reconcile the two? Apparently there’s room for both as we follow the Lord. After the cursing David turned his focus back to God:

Then people will say, “Surely the righteous still are rewarded; surely there is a God who judges the earth.”

Curse away. Be as creative as you want. Spew it all out. David did so, and we can follow his example. But also follow David back to the Lord, away from lingering bitterness, trusting God to work things out, to judge both the righteous and wicked.

Whether our curses come to fruition or not, the Lord knows our future, way better than you or me or even Carnac the Magnificent.

Psalm 58 in reading the Bible in 2023